Teachers encounter a range of student behaviors. These behaviors can support teaching and learning or they can make it more challenging. It is common for anyone, teacher or not, to interpret behaviors like: being hostile, angry, acting out, depressed mood, or being withdrawn as personal A teacher with this mindset might blame themself for the behavior, thinking things like: “I’m a bad teacher. This student hates my class.” Or a teacher might blame the student seeing them as a “bad kid” or as a “student who just doesn’t care about learning.”
Trauma-informed teaching will help teachers understand that these types of behaviors are warning signs that a student might have experienced trauma or be experiencing trauma. As teachers learn more about what t might cause these behaviors, their mindsets begin to shift in a way that will help them engage with their students differently.
Across the globe, young people face extremely challenging situations. Some students grow up facing violence, abuse, or neglect at home; others struggle in the wake of natural disasters, war, famine, or poverty. When students experience something so upsetting or terrifying, it has a long term impact on them mentally and emotionally. And, when a student is feeling overwhelmed and unable to cope with those types of situations, we’d say they’re “in distress.” Extremely intense distress is called trauma. Both distress and trauma can affect how a student thinks and acts.
We probably have at least one of these students in our class right now. Their experiences drive the way they act, and making some small adjustments in our classroom can make a big difference for them. Today you’ll learn about how distress and trauma can affect behavior, signs to look out for, and what you can do to make your classroom more trauma-informed. Then you’ll be able to hear these strategies played out in sample conversations..
Shifting to a trauma-informed approach isn’t easy. It requires training to see students differently. Of course not all disruptive behavior in the classroom is due to distress or trauma, but instead of seeing this as something you need to manage and discourage, you’ll learn to see it as a sign a student might need some support.
Consider the story of Casey, a student who sometimes shouts out enough in class to pull everyone off topic. His behavior in class is the tip of his iceberg, without getting to know him better that’s all we would know. But Casey’s story, like so many of our students, is far more complex -- there is a lot under the surface. He acts out in class because things at home are really rough. He never knows if his father is going to be drunk or sober or when he there will be chaos or peace. His anxious and upset feelings come with him to school and contribute to the behavior he exhibits in class.
Casey would really benefit from a trauma-informed approach. Students who do not have the homelife difficulties that Casey has can benefit from this approach as well.
When we do these three things, we teach from a place of compassion rather than frustration, and our students feel safer and more engaged.
When a student exhibits one or more of the following warning signs, there is a chance that their behavior is related to some sort of distress or trauma.
General Warning Signs include things like:
Warning Signs and Student’s Age:
Warning Signs and Student’s Sex:
When you recognize any of these signs, reach out to the students exhibiting them to let them know you care and help them find more constructive ways to cope and succeed in your class.
If you notice that a student regularly seems:
in addition to approaching them with compassion, you should strongly consider referring them to a mental health professional in your school or community.
One (or more) of your current students is probably experiencing some sort of distress due to trauma. These incidents are commonly referred to as adverse childhood experiences or ACEs.
Students of all races and socio-economic statuses are impacted by trauma. However, if you are working in communities with higher rates of poverty, homelessness/housing insecurity or incarceration it’s likely that there are multiple students in your classroom who have experienced or are experiencing trauma.
A person’s brain is in learning mode when they feel safe. They can predict what will happen in their environment, and they have all their basic needs met. All of this really helps them control their emotions and focus on learning.
But when a person, especially a child, has any experience with an unsafe environment or intense danger, their brains are rewired to be on guard for more harm or neglect. The world isn’t a safe or nurturing place anymore; it can be a terrifying place.
When a child feels threatened or overwhelmed, or when something reminds them of a traumatic event, their brains go into reactive mode. Their heart might pound or their palms might get sweaty; they might feel a rush of adrenaline. Their body is getting ready to respond to something bad in one of three ways: fight, flee, or freeze.
Our brains have these instincts for a reason; they’re a good way to respond to real danger. But they aren’t so practical in our classrooms. When a student is fighting, fleeing, or freezing, they might not even realize what’s happening or why they’re acting in this way.
Listen to the following list of student behaviors, and think about each one that you might take personally.
It’s normal to naturally take these types of things personally. Imagine you have a student named Casey. Casey often has outbursts and expresses his hatred for your class. His behavior in class is the tip of his iceberg, without getting to know him better that’s all we would know. But Casey’s story, like so many of our students, is far more complex -- there is a lot under the surface. He acts out in class because things at home are really rough. He never knows if his father is going to be drunk or sober or when he there will be chaos or peace. His anxious and upset feelings come with him to school and contribute to the behavior he exhibits in class. So when he says he hates your class, what he’s really trying to say is “I’m in pain. Something is really bothering me.” Or even, “Hey, I don’t feel safe right now!”
The same way the tip of an iceberg suggests there is a lot more underneath the water, disruptive behavior in class can be a sign that the student is dealing with a lot and needs support. Recognizing a cry for help makes it easier not to take a student’s behavior personally. And it signals us to learn more about why this student isn’t in learning mode and to talk to the student and make them feel supported…
Be sure to follow your school’s protocol for mandatory reporting. Sometimes, a student will reveal an intention to harm themselves or the people around them, or that they’re living in an unhealthy or unsafe environment. We encourage you to follow your school’s protocol for mandatory reporting. You can and should also, talk to your school or community mental health support in more detail about the students you’re most concerned about. If you’re unaware of what to do, it’s helpful to familiarize yourself with your area’s policy of mandatory reporting.
When a student suffers a loss, or even a whole community experiences a critical incident, we know that many students might be in distress. But what if some of them are not showing any warning signs?
Consider a student like Ray. Ray lost her dad during a hurricane. Overall, Ray seemed fine and her grades stayed high. So no warning signs, but her teacher expressed her condolences and checked-in a few times during the term anyway. Later, Ray said that this approach had helped keep her afloat. Reaching out to students, like Ray, puts you on their resilience-building team. This is important because these students can be at-risk for anxiety and depression and for a variety of risky behaviors.
Doing a whole class activity like a breathing exercise can help all of your students learn some ways that they can notice and better manage their feelings. Here is an example:
Teachers that use exercises like this one regularly see improvements in their students’ self-esteem, confidence, resilience and achievement.
Checking-in with a student, building trust, encouraging them to share, problem solving an instructional modification and making a referral, if needed, is a lot to ask on top of everything you are already doing. But making these efforts will mean a lot for all of your students and they will hopefully increase the chances that you can keep everyone, even yourself, in learning mode.
Ms. Payton is a high school history teacher. She has a student named Noah she’s been keeping an eye on this year. He's already faced some big challenges; his brother, who served in the military, was killed in action three years ago, and his father was out of work for nearly a year.
Despite that, he worked hard and has consistently been a top student and well-liked by his classmates. But recently Ms. Payton has been more concerned. His work has been less insightful, and he's seemed a little more on edge. Ms. Payton took a few minutes to put together some notes on Noah. Before we get started, let’s hear what she’s been noticing:
In terms of academic performance, Noah's recent work has been drastically different from his usual high-level work. His grade has slipped from an A to a C.
In terms of social/emotional cues: Lately, Noah has seemed really tired and on edge. He's been oppositional and argumentative towards with his peers. Today, when a classmate interrupted Noah while he was asking a question, he stood up and yelled at the student to shut up.
This is a transcript of when Ms. Payton sits down with Noah during a free period.
Ms. Payton’s first goal of this conversation is to check in with Noah to see how he's feeling. She can build trust and encourage him to share by giving him specific praise, asking open-ended questions, and expressing empathy. Ms. Payton’s second goal is to brainstorm one way she can make class more comfortable for Noah.
Ms. Payton: Hi, Noah. Thanks for coming by.
Noah: Y-yeah… Sure. What's up?
Ms. Payton: I wanted to check in with you. See how you're doing.
Noah: Oh. (beat) I'm doing… y'know…
Ms. Payton: Why did you raise your voice at Silas in class today?
Noah: I didn't raise my… That's not what…
Ms. Payton: You looked really upset.
Noah: I didn't do anything wrong, he… He interrupted me. You saw that, right? I mean, I'm not… Forget it.
Ms. Payton: I can't have you snapping at other students in class.
Noah: Yeah, but I was… I was… Fine.
Ms. Payton: You seem to have a problem with some of your classmates.
Noah: Wha- what do you mean? No, I don't.
Ms. Payton: Recently I've seen you muttering to yourself when other students are talking. It's disrespectful.
Feedback: Whenever a student denies what you are saying, it's a pretty good indication that you have put them on the defensive.
Ms. Payton: Are you struggling like this with your other classes?
Noah: "Struggling"? I wouldn't say I'm… I just can't seem to keep my head clear lately and my grades have taken a hit. I've just been so, I don't know… so tired lately.
Feedback: Many students will have a reaction to words like "struggling." Try to describe his behavior without judgement. It will make him feel safer in this conversation.
Ms. Payton: Your last paper was C-level work, Noah.
Noah: I… I know… I'm just not used to… people in my family don't do C work.
Ms. Payton: Noah, in life, you're not always going to get an A on everything.
Noah: There's people… I mean, absolutely there's people who only ever got As.
Ms. Payton: Right… I'm just saying that it's not the absolute measure of your achievements.
Noah: Maybe… but it's the measure West Point uses.
Feedback: Be careful not to turn this conversation into an argument--the more you argue with Noah, the deeper he digs into his positions.
Ms. Payton: Are you seriously considering going to West Point?
Noah: I… I mean, what?
Noah Thought: Does she not think I'm good enough?
Ms. Payton: You know, you don't have to join the military.
Noah: It's the only thing I can do that I know will make my family proud.
Ms. Payton: Why the only thing?
Noah: We don't freeload in this family. We serve West Point then active service was the only option my brother was ever given growing up. And… well, same here.
Feedback: Understanding Noah's thinking is important, but Ms. Payton should refocus on how he can feel more comfortable in class, or how they both can think of ways to help him with his stress.
Ms. Payton: You don't seem very excited by the idea.
Noah: Well that's something that got decided a long time ago.
Ms. Payton: So, you feel like you're not being given a choice in where you go to college.
Noah: I… I never said… Y'know, it's just that… West Point's what I want. Get to… y'know, the same school as Ryan.
Feedback: Moments like this, where a student has a reaction can be difficult, but you are on the right track. Ms. Payton reflected back what she heard and that's a great way to check for understanding. In this case, Noah is figuring out what he thinks and reacting to a difficult situation.
Ms. Payton: Noah, you really need to make what you want a priority here.
Noah: West Point is… That is what I want. Plain and simple.
Ms. Payton: That's not really what I'm hearing from you.
Noah: Then you need to get your hearing checked.
Feedback: If Ms.Payton can find a way to explore this topic without telling him what to do, she will be more successful.
Ms. Payton: You're feeling a lot of pressure right now.
Noah: Yeah… yeah. And.. Y'know, I just wanna make everyone happy.
Feedback: When you reflected his feelings back to Noah in this way, it gave him a chance to reflect, too.
Ms. Payton: How would you feel about talking to Mr. Forster, our school counselor?
Noah: That's… No. I don't really think that's for me.
Ms. Payton: Are you sure?
Noah: Yeah… no, I… Look, I appreciate the concern. I do.But my grades just aren't where I want them to be. That's not something I need counseling about.
Feedback: An open-ended question like this (How would you feel…?) is a non-threatening way to begin making a referral.
Ms. Payton: Okay… so you'll try to keep your outbursts under control?
Noah: I… Why are you STILL acting like this is my fault?
Ms. Payton: This is about what's best for the class. Now, let's check back in next week and see how you're doing.
Noah: …
Ms. Payton: Noah?
Noah: Yeah. I mean… I guess. Whatever.
One Week Later
Ms. Payton: Did you get that bruise in a fight?
Noah: I got… I mean, Javy Dixon probably wouldn't call it a fight.
Ms. Payton: What were you thinking getting into a fight with Javier Dixon?
Noah: He was being… he was just making me so mad. And he-He's twice your size.
Noah: Yeah. I got that.
Feedback: Ms. Payton showed her disappointment in Noah's actions which might make it harder for her to find out more about his thinking and or to be able to refer him if needed.
Ms. Payton: Noah, fighting isn't a solution for anything.
Noah: Yeah… well, I had to give it a go to find that out. Thanks.
Feedback: Ms. Payton wants Noah to stop getting into fights, but just telling him what's right isn't going to address the root of the problem -- that he is experiencing a lot of stress. Ms.Payton should focus on getting him to consider seeing a counselor.
Ms. Payton: What made you feel you needed to step in?
Noah: I just… I saw Javy doing what he was doing… saying those things… an' I just wanted to shut him up.
Ms. Payton: You wanted to protect another student.
Noah: Yeah, but it's not just… I j-just… I think Ryan would have done something about it. When I used to get picked on he would… y'know? Like any real man should be able to… y'know, stop something like that.
Feedback: Asking a student what they were thinking or feeling is a smart move. Notice how much Ms.Payton learned about what might have been behind the fight.
Ms. Payton: Noah, a man would also have been able to walk away from a fight.
Noah: (turns away) Maybe you're right.
Feedback: It's tempting to give advice like this, but it tends to shut down the conversation.
Ms. Payton: You should talk to your parents about this.
Noah: My parents? They're, y'know… they're dealing with their own bad dreams and stuff.
Ms. Payton: It sounds like you're experiencing distress.
Noah: I… what? What's that supposed to mean?
Ms. Payton: Like… depression. Anxiety.
Noah: …
Feedback: It's never a good idea to attempt to diagnose your students. That's the job of a mental health professional, not a teacher. Remain patient and focus on making a referral.
Ms. Payton: How would you feel about talking to Mr. Forster?
Noah: …
Ms. Payton: We can still meet like this and talk about your school work.But Mr. Forster might be able to help you talk through the stress you're feeling…or anything else you want to talk about. Is that something you might be interested in?
Noah: I don't… I know I've spilled a lot to you but… there's not many people who know my business.
Feedback: This is a great way to bring up this question. Hang in there!
Ms. Payton: When someone's dealing with something, whether it's the loss of a loved one or stress at school, it's perfectly normal to talk to someone. I've done it.
Noah: For real?
Ms. Payton: Yep. And counselors can help us come up with things we can do that help us feel better.
Noah: But I've never met him before. It'd be weird to, y'know, just like "Hey… how's it going?"
Feedback: Right now, Noah feels like there is something wrong with him for still being upset about Ryan. This statement is essential to helping him feel like his reaction to the situation is normal and that getting help is normal too.
Ms. Payton: What if I write you a pass and you can go see him right now?
Noah: Ummm…I don't think so. I kinda think my parents are right about that counseling thing. I'll handle this myself.
Ms. Payton: Noah, I really think you should-
Noah: (cuts her off) No, no. I got this.
Ms. Payton: O…okay. I'll see you in class.
Overall, Ms. Payton struggled to support Noah in this conversation. These types of interactions are not easy, and can be new for many teachers.
At times, Ms. Payton did well, she offered specific observations of Noah’s behavior, but at other moments her comments were less neutral putting Noah on the defensive.
Giving Noah advice rather than collaboratively problem solving made Noah uncomfortable. In turn, Noah didn’t accept Ms. Payton’s suggestion to see the counselor.
Now let’s listen to an interaction where Ms. Payton takes a more understanding approach and meets the goals of the conversation.
Ms. Payton: Hi, Noah. Thanks for coming by.
Noah: Y-yeah… Sure. What's up?
Ms. Payton: I wanted to check in with you. See how you're doing.
Noah: Oh. (beat) I'm doing… y'know…
Ms. Payton: What happened in class today?
Noah: That was… (sighs) I knew that's what this was about. (beat) I was upset. He… He… I was in the middle of asking a question and Silas just… opens his big mouth and… just to get a laugh. Then everyone's talking about something else and I just… I mean, I'm sorry I snapped, but…
Feedback: By starting with an open-ended question (What happened?), Ms.Payton created space for Noah to share what's on his mind. It's also great that she didn't make him feel like he was there because he did something "wrong."
Ms. Payton: You were upset that Silas interrupted you.
Noah: I mean… like, have you ever known him to ask anything important? Or say anything that-… Like anything?
Ms. Payton: Silas does like to make jokes.
Noah: And I… It was the last class before our section test… and I'm not… I don't understanding the… the-… And I mean Silas doesn't care how he does, so he just, y'know- (makes belching sound) right before the bell was gonna ring and suddenly everyone's talking about something else, and I… I guess I lost it. Sorry.
Feedback: When Ms. Payton reflected back what she thought he was saying (You were upset when Silas…), she made Noah feel heard. You might not always get a reflection like this exactly right, but students will correct you and let them know what they are thinking.
Ms. Payton: It's not just today with Silas… I've noticed you kind of… talking quietly to yourself… shaking your head when other students are speaking.
Noah: I'm not… it's just that, do you listen to what some of them are saying.
Ms. Payton: I-
Noah: (cuts her off) No, of course you do. And I like class discussions normally. But it just feels like everyone's always… missing the point. (beat) I'm sorry, I just… I get so frustrated. I'm not doing as well as I used to. I mean, Cs on my last two papers? C'mon. I need to hear from people who know what they're talking about. Like you or… y'know.
Noah Thought: I'm trying to do everything right, but everyone else just keeps… getting in my way.
Ms. Payton: Do you understand why you got a C on your last paper?
Noah: Yeah, 'cause it sucked. 'Cause I didn't know what I was talking about 'cause I've been having a hard time… focusing and not… like, sleeping great. Yeah, so it sucked.
Ms. Payton: When I have a lot on my mind, it can really mess with my sleep schedule.
Noah: Really?
Ms. Payton: Yep. When something's really bothering me, I'll wake up in the middle of the night… sometimes toss and turn for hours before I get back to sleep.
Noah: Yeah, that's how it… I mean, I fall asleep fine, but then I just wake up. And my mind's racing thinking about everything I have to do the next day. (beat) I'll never get into West Point at this rate.
Ms. Payton: I remember thinking the same thing about the college I wanted to attend. And then my top choice changed about half a dozen times before I graduated.
Noah: Yeah… Um… That's not… that's not what I'm talking about, though. This is… y'know, how it's gonna be. How it's gotta be.
Noah Thought: (mind racing/overlapping) I gotta get to my chem study group… That test tomorrow's gonna be murder… And I wanna get to practice early and work on my foul shots… My jump shot is straight up broke… I need to eat on the way home in case mom didn't make anything tonight….
Feedback: This was such an empathetic statement. Ms. Payton told him a little about herself and made him feel like his struggles are normal, but she didn't trivialize them.
Ms. Payton: What appeals to you about West Point?
Noah: Well… for starters, it's really hard to get into.
Ms. Payton: A lot of schools are competitive. What's special about this one?
Noah: Great people are made at West Point. Just look at my brother.
Feedback: Simple open-ended questions like, "What appeals to you…" can help you learn more about what might be bothering a student like Noah. You are getting some helpful information here.
Ms. Payton: I know we, as teachers, ask a lot of you during Junior year. And you're clearly asking a lot of yourself too. Balancing long-term goals with day-to-day life can be difficult.
Noah: I don't… it feels like more than that with me, though. I know I gotta always be doing my best, but most days I just don't have it.
Feedback: Ms. Payton let Noah know that his struggles are valid. It showed him she’s on his side and genuinely interested in his perspective. As a result, he opened up.
Ms. Payton: You don't seem very excited by the idea.
Noah: I… w-why… why wouldn't I be? Like, everyone else is freaking out about where they're going to go to school, but I… No, that's something that got decided a long time ago.
Ms. Payton: So, you feel like you're not being given a choice in where you go to college.
Noah: I… I never said… Y'know, it's just that… yeah, West Point's what I want. Get to… y'know, the same school as Ryan.
Feedback: Moments like this, where a student has a reaction can be difficult, but Ms. Payton is on the right track. She reflected back what she heard and that's a great way to check for understanding. In this case, Noah is figuring out what he thinks and reacting to a difficult situation.
Ms. Payton: What happens if you don't get in?
Noah: I told you. Not getting in is not an option.
Ms. Payton: But what if you don't?
Noah: (long pause) Put it this way, I get rejected from West Point, I'll just… I'll tell my parents I got in and go… somewhere. I don't know. I'd disappear. As long as they think it's West Point.
Feedback: Asking this open-ended question (What happens if….?) helped Ms. Payton get an important window into Noah's thinking right now.
Ms. Payton: I know it's scary to think about the possibility of rejection.
Noah: It's not… Y'know, I've had people… (sighs) I've had girls reject me. A lot. And I know, like… that's rejection. This… this isn't… there's no coming back from this. Whichever way it breaks… it's gonna stay broken.
Feedback: Ms.Payton showed Noah that she is really listening to him by empathizing with what he might be feeling.
Ms. Payton: Okay, well… What can we do in our class to make you feel more focused and prepared?
Noah: Um… I… I don't know. I feel like… I feel like my head's all over the place, so…
Ms. Payton: Why don't we meet next week and go over your ideas for your next paper. We can talk through them and make sure you have them all in order before you start writing.
Noah: Yeah… and maybe we can talk out some of the things we don't get to in class. (beat) Thanks. And thanks for… y'know. (smiles) Thanks.
Ms. Payton: So… we'll meet again next week?
Noah: (smiles) Next week.
Feedback: It's great to ask students for their thoughts when you are brainstorming a "solution." In this case, it's clear that organizing his thoughts is an issue and this will hopefully help with that.
One Week Later
Ms. Payton: Thanks for meeting again, Noah.
Noah: Yeah. I- I mean… of course.
Ms. Payton: Can I ask how you got that bruise on your face?
Feedback: Asking permission to discuss something allows students to feel like they have a say in what you are going to discuss.
Noah: It looks worse than it is.
Ms. Payton: It looks like it hurt.
Noah: So… yeah. Javy Dixon… y'know, isn't the smallest guy in school.
Feedback: It's always a good idea to check-in with a students when you see a visible sign that they have been injured in some way. Clearly, a bruise on the face could be an indication of some sort of abuse in the home, so it's good that you brought this up.
Ms. Payton: You got into a fight with Javier Dixon.
Noah: If that's what you wanna call it. (sigh) I was at lunch. Javy was in line behind this little skinny kid… don't even know his name. And he was flicking him in his ear an' callin' him… (pause)
Ms. Payton: Calling him what?
Noah: Queer. Fairy. Stuff like that. And it made me so… angry. I told Javy to leave the kid alone. He said, "Mind your own business." I don't know… I guess something snapped and I jumped in. The next thing I know, I'm on the ground and Javy's stomping me.
Feedback: Ms. Payton found out a lot here because she didn't judge his behavior.
Ms. Payton: Standing up for that student was a courageous thing to do, Noah.
Noah: I- I mean… Like, I'm trying, right? Like I- Like I'm trying to do what… what I'm supposed to… Isn't that what a man does, y'know? To be… y'know, to be able to say, "this isn't… this shouldn't be happening." And to, y'know, do something.
Feedback: Noah is feeling bad about so many things, right now. Giving him a little praise was a wise choice.
Ms. Payton: It sounds like the idea of being a man is on your mind.
Noah: No, I… (turns away, then back) I wanted to do something, but I didn't know how. So, I tried to do what Ryan would have done… like when he used to protect me. He could just look at those other kids and they'd run like hell. But I couldn't… I just… I wasn't strong enough.
Ms. Payton: So, you want to be more like your brother.
Noah: That's what everyone wants. But why… I just don't understand why am I… (gets choked up) why I'm not, like, good enough.
Feedback: Stating/reflecting back what Ms.Payton heard him say offered Noah the chance to think about this idea and reflect on it some more.
Ms. Payton: How much of what you're feeling have you shared with your parents?
Noah: My parents?
Ms. Payton: I'm sure they'd want to help if they knew you were in pain.
Noah: My parents are just… I mean , I get it. My parents lost their oldest son. But here I am… doing everything I can to be the best student, the best athlete, the best… everything they wanted their sons to do. But it's never enough.
Feedback: Finding out how things are going with parents or guardians can help you more fully understand a student's resources. It's important information that a counselor will appreciate knowing.
Ms. Payton: I can only imagine how difficult all of this must be for you.
Noah: It's been three years since Ryan died. And it seems like everyone, like, expects everything to be back to normal by now.
Feedback: Acknowledging Noah's loss in this way, made him feel safe enough to open up about it.
Ms. Payton: You and your family have been through so much recently. Can I share something with you that's helped other students when they've experienced difficult times?
Noah: I mean… I guess so.
Ms. Payton: They've found it helpful to talk to Mr. Forster.
Noah: The school shrink?
Ms. Payton: He prefers "counselor."
Noah: Yeah, yeah. Sorry.
Feedback: Knowing that other students have gotten help is likely to make Noah more open to seeing a counselor.
Ms. Payton: Why don't you want to see the counselor?
Noah: I don't know… It kinda makes me wonder if… y'know, if something's wrong with me.
Noah Thought: I'm not sick. I'm NOT.
Ms. Payton: Noah, getting help doesn't mean there's something wrong with you.
Noah: Then how come other people aren't having the same problems I am? I have friends who have lost people in their lives and they're like… they're fine. I mean, they seem fine.
Ms. Payton: Everyone processes grief differently. That's why it's so helpful to talk to someone like Mr. Forster. He can help identify what you need and what can best help you going forward.
Noah: I… I mean, that… that doesn't sound so bad.
Feedback: It's so important for Noah to hear that his struggles do not signal that something is wrong with him. Ms. Payton helped him see that his grieving process is valid and even normal, which could really help him feel more comfortable going to Mr. Forster.
Ms. Payton: How would you feel if we went and talked to him together?
Noah: You'd be cool coming with me?
Ms. Payton: (nods) We could swing by his office right now. Does that work for you?
Noah: (lowers his head, thinking) Yeah, okay. (pause) And, we're still on for next week?
Ms. Payton: Absolutely.
Feedback: For many students walking into a counselor's office to seek help is very challenging. Ms. Payton’s offer to go with Noah clearly made a big difference. And it very concretely moves him on a path to the support he needs.
Overall Ms. Payton did a great job supporting Noah in this conversation. She put Noah at ease and gained his trust by asking open-ended questions. Her observations were neutral and specific which gave Noah the opportunity to share insights about his behavior.
By working with Noah to figure out ways to improve his classwork, Noah felt less hopeless and alone with his struggles. Additionally, Noah agreed to see the counselor because Ms. Payton made him feel heard and comfortable throughout the conversation.
Sometimes, a student like Noah will reveal an intention to harm themselves or the people around them, or that they’re living in an unhealthy or unsafe environment. We encourage you to talk to your school or community mental health support in more detail about the students you’re most concerned about, and to familiarize yourself with your area’s policy of mandatory reporting.
Doing a whole class activity helps students learn some ways that they can notice and better manage their feelings. A lot of teachers who do this activity at the beginning of each class. Schools that use exercises like this one see improvements in self-esteem, confidence, resilience and achievement. Sharing trauma-informed exercises with the whole class helps us ensure that harder to spot students also receive some support. Anything you can do to make their school environment more predictable or foster their sense of self-worth really helps. In some cases whole school communities move together towards a trauma-informed approach. You can explore more about whole school approaches and activities like these in your Resources section.
We’re not gurus, therapists, or superheroes… we’re teachers. It’s pretty amazing when we can recognize warning signs and connect with a struggling student. It’s a big deal when a student who has always seen themselves as a “problem kid” starts to talk about what’s hard for them. Or for a withdrawn student to feel more connected to their class and their teacher. Finding just the right solution to help a student feel safer in class can be a trial-and-error process -- it’s a journey.
This concludes the simulation. Please click the link below to request a certificate of completion.