Welcome to the simulation titled Transitions: Supporting Military Children. This is a transcript of the simulation designed for screen readers.
In this simulation, you learn about the unique situations military families face and how educators and after-school staff can help support children in military families. There are examples of ineffective and effective conversations between an after-school program coordinator and a military child in the fourth grade.
When was the last time you started somewhere new, unsure of where to go or how to fit in? Now, imagine you’re nine years old and just moved across the country. It’s your first day of school, and you don’t know anyone.
For military children, that experience is common. Almost two million children in this country have one or more parents in the military; and, most will change schools between six and nine times. Some of them are the “new kid” again and again. And military children can face other big changes, too, like a parent’s absence, injury, or death.
I’m Jackie Torres, and I’m a psychologist who works with military families. Despite being part of a closely knit community, these families experience many challenging transitions. I’ve learned that it makes a big difference for military children to have people outside the family, especially in school, supporting them during those big transitions. In this simulation, you will: learn about the unique situations military families face, learn how to support military children during times of transition, and practice having a conversation with a military child to help him feel welcome, connected, and understood.
First, let’s talk about what it’s like to grow up in a military family. Children are resilient, meaning they tend to adapt to new situations and bounce back from difficulties. Moving can be an exciting adventure for military children, especially for those who live for some time in foreign countries and experience different cultures. But repeatedly changing schools or dealing with a parent being away can put them at risk--academically and psychologically. Studies show that, due to their frequent transitions, military children are more likely to report being bullied and may struggle with problematic behavior or low grades. However, a supportive adult can create a welcoming environment and help children build resiliency.
Many of a military family’s transitions are structured around the deployment cycle. In pre-deployment the military parent is training or serving while living at home. But when the parent enters deployment they leave home, often for more than a year. During deployment, children may feel anxious about who will care for them or worried that the parent might get hurt or not return.
Sometimes parents can come home on R&R, or rest and relaxation. But they are only with their families for a few weeks before leaving again. This can be very disruptive for children. Often they take time out of school to be with their parent. Then, when the parent leaves, the child must cope all over again with separation and anxiety.
During post-deployment, or reintegration, the parent returns and transitions back into home life. Children are naturally excited about the parent’s return but might find post-deployment difficult because they expected life to be just like it was before deployment. Children might be resentful that their parent missed important milestones or they might feel guilty for having adjusted to life without them. Parents may struggle to find their place in the family and adjust to new routines. Returning parents might also have been wounded or traumatized by their deployment. And any change in the parent’s behavior can be scary and stressful for their children.